Life brings us many joys, and some inevitable disappointments.

When things are going well, we are keen to take responsibility for successful outcomes.

But when things are not going well, what do we do? Do we also take responsibility – or blame other factors?

Think about every key area of your life. Your career/work/business; your finances; your health and wellness; your relationships; your contribution to the world; where you live; your spirituality; your peace and happiness. On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate on each of these factors? (BTW – if you’d like an accurate rating, please create your Life Wheel).

There are likely areas of your life where you did not score 10/10. Look at these areas carefully. How much responsibility should you take for your score not being 10/10? The correct answer is: 100%. In. Every. Case.

This is when many people start protesting. I have heard them blame everything including their boss; their colleagues; the competition; the economy; interest rates; their spouse/partner; other family members; their childhood; their circumstances; the weather. Anyone and anything but themselves.

This, dear reader, is called playing victim.

We all do it, from time to time, as it absolves us of responsibility. It means we don’t have to confront; be uncomfortable; get out of our comfort zones. It means we can choose to follow the path that is less difficult.

But playing victim results in a sub-optimal life, as I found out some 12 years ago, when I had a near-failing business, huge health issues, poor family relationships, and little or no spiritual connection. After many earlier successes, my outcomes were disastrous, to the point I just wanted to end my life.

The problem? I had become a champion at playing victim.

But I realized I had strengths; wisdom; and choice. Above all, I could choose new perspectives, grounded in abundance rather than scarcity. I could take action, and I could also ask for help when I needed help.

So I ‘woke up’ and took complete responsibility for all aspects of my life, defined the new results I wanted and step by step, started focusing on overcoming every hurdle along the way towards these results, often with help from others. I experienced dramatic turnaround in every area of my life. The “impossible” became possible. Frankly, I stopped playing “poor me,” the victim, and I re-took charge of my life.

So from someone who has played victim (and once in a while can lapse into doing that, because it’s such a comfortable place!), I ask you: do you have the outcomes you desire in every aspect of your life? Is your Life Wheel one that satisfies you?

If not, as is the case for many people, then ask yourself where you are playing victim, decide to take responsibility, and commit to doing what’s needed to get you the results you desire, so you can live the life of your dreams. It IS in your control.